Day 2- Meet the Trainer

Today I met with Ashley at the Rush.  Very athletic.  I assume that she is a basketball player.  Not that she is tall, she just has that athletic build and walk.  We went over paperwork and set goals for weight loss.  I'd like to get down to 150 again at the minimum.  If I could get down to 125-135 range that would be good too, but I'll be happy to get down to 150.  She did some tests to see where I am physically.  My BMI is 40.3.  Ewwe.  And this little machine came up with a number of 48% fat.  Not exactly sure what that is about, but I know it can't be good!

She had me do some basic stuff like walk on a treadmill for a few minutes, do some squats, plank pose to see how core is, pull down some weights.  That kind of thing.  Next time she's going to make up a plan so I can go through a routine when I go in.  I would love to hire her as a trainer, I'm sure the motivation would keep me on track, I just can't afford it.  This will have to be a solo thing and hopefully a few sessions will get me going in the right direction.  I was pretty pathetic, my right knee and hip started protesting on the treadmill after about 3 minutes.  But hey, at least I'm trying now.  Our next session is Monday morning.

Meanwhile I'm going to do some cardio, probably on the treadmills, so I can build up to 30 min sessions, then 45 min.  Everyone should be able to walk at a rate of 4.0 miles an hour for 30 minutes.  I was struggling for 3 miles an hour for 6 minutes.  Pretty sorry I know.  Just goes to show you how much I need to work out. I'll get there.  Tomorrow I'll push myself through it.  She suggested breaking it up into 10 or 15 minutes.  So tomorrow I'm going to get 1/2 hour in, just take a couple breaks between.  This weight needs to come off.

One good thing is that they have kids classes on Mondays and Thursdays.  Since tomorrow is Thursday, I'll be taking them in tomorrow evening for the kiddy class and I'll work out on the treadmill while they have their class.

I plan on taking a Zumba class on Saturday morning.  Sounds like fun.  I am so incredibly uncoordinated so it should be a mess.  Hopefully I won't trip over myself too much or run into too many people.  My core personality is to shy away from people. I work at home, before that I took on-line college classes from home.  I feel claustrophobic around groups of people, a gnawing sense of panic. Normally I would absolutely HATE the idea of joining a class and being completely uncoordinated around other people, but right now I don't really care.  I need to get myself right, and honestly, who is going to be looking?  Everyone else is probably more concerned with hitting their own steps.  And if they gawk at the clutzy fat girl, who cares?  Right?  Well, I'll see if I feel the same way after my first class!  :)

In an effort to motivate myself, I took some pictures.  I generally shy away from mirrors, but getting this honest look of how my body is... I can only describe it as dismaying.  I look like I have a watermelon in my belly.  Seriously, I look pregnant.  Very pregnant. This huge belly takes up 1/2 of my lap.  That is real-estate meant for kids to sit on and cuddle up.  But they don't have the room because my belly is in the way. And my arms!  The fat drips in sloping bags down my arms.  My thighs are huge mushy lumps that sort of smash together almost all the way to my knees. It disgusts me. I keep looking at these pictures wondering how I let myself get this way.  This is where I do not want to be any more.  This is what I am going to change.

Day 1

Here we are, second installment of Day One.  Went to check out a fitness complex tonight.  It offers free daycare, so that's a plus.  I'd rather go to Curves, where I only have to work out around other women, but they don't offer daycare and I don't have anyone to watch the kiddos.  I signed up for 3 sessions with a personal trainer, and a month to month contract for me and hubby.  I jumped right in and tomorrow will have a personal trainer session.  Kids will all be in day care.  Thursday there is a kids class.  Maybe I can go do some cardio while they are in the class.  I would love for them to be more active, so I think this will be a good thing for them too.  

Next step is making sure hubby doesn't have a coronary over money spent on the sign up.

Over Weight

I haven't been able to sleep lately.  I say lately, but it's been almost 2 years since I got pregnant with my youngest, who is currently sixteen months old.  The insomnia and waking in the middle of the night started during pregnancy.  So it's been more than just lately.  So far I've tried benadryl, alcholol, unisome, and even calms forte, a natural dietary suppliment.  The result is either no effect whatsoever, or I wake up feeling like the Wicked Witch of the Wast with a hang over, even when alcohol is not involved.

I went to the doctor today. We discussed how my current anti-depressants are working, sleeping pills to help with the insomnia, and the fact that weight gain can lead to obstructed airways on top of the general over all ill health of carrying around an extra 100 pounds.  I asked about weight loss pills while I was at it.  The doctor recommended that since I am only 35 years old not to go that route as it could be damaging to my heart.  I am currently 5 foot 7 inches, 258 pounds. She showed me her handy little pocket chart which shows that I have passed the overweight category AND the obese category and have creeped into the Morbidly Obese category.  She said I am now in the category where gastric bypass is recommended.  Really?  That is a recommendation?  Surgery?  I know I'm fat but "Morbidly Obese" sounds so horrible.  So much worse than just "fat."

I was always over weight as a child.  I weighed in at 150 pounds when I was 12, and I maintained that weight into my 20s.  150 pounds on a 20 year old is a LOT better than 150 pounds as a 12 year old.  At my smallest I was 135 pounds.  Right after I hit 20 I started working out regularly, cut out soda and stuck to baked chicken and lots of vegetables.  That low lasted about a year before I went back up to 150.  Then after I had kids the weight kept padding on.  135 pounds was 15 years ago.  It is a much different story today.

Today I work from home and sit in front of my computer for a good portion of the day.  I halfheartedly chase around four children from the ages of 16 months to 10 years old.  To be honest, I don't have the energy required to give them the attention they need or play with them like they deserve.  Lazy?  Bad mom?  Fat?  Probably all of the above.

I desperately need to make changes in my life.  Minimally with diet and exercise. I know just these changes will make a huge difference.  Mood, energy level, quality of life...

So this is my resolution:  I WILL loose that extra ONE HUNDRED POUNDS that I need to lose.  To keep myself accountable I WILL write in here every day.   Whether the day was a resounding success or a complete flop, I WILL keep myself accountable by keeping it in writing.

Tonight I'm going to go check out a membership at The Rush again.  I've tried it before about five years ago.  It feels great to work out.  I don't know if we can afford it though.  But may be I can't afford NOT to do it.